Sanpixee's Weblog

The Snuggie Series: The Story of Us #48

sanpixee — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 18:46:11 +0000

I PINGed you on bbm

PING!

Of course no answer. My therapist says I’m regressing.

I miss you… answering.

The Snuggie Series: The Story of Us #47

sanpixee — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 16:27:43 +0000

Some people specialize in reading maps and driving memory, I specialize in getting lost. Misery is contagious… only show up when you’re personable… or for good brie.

I miss you -

The Snuggie Series: The Story of Us #46

sanpixee — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 16:18:50 +0000

Maybe I will quit today. Or maybe I’ll channel my rebellious spirit into another viewing of “Office Space” tonight. Maybe I will order take-out and marvel and how I am 1/2 a notch away from being an immigrant delivery person and feel blessed for my situation. Then rebellious spirit subdued – I will lather, rinse, repeat and do this shit again tomorrow.

Writing, Just writing

The Snuggie Series: The Story of Us #45

sanpixee — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 16:13:49 +0000

As I absentmindedly collected my “Repent Now” pamphlet on entering the train station, I thought what cause I had in my life to stand in a noisy, dirty subway station doing that same duty. Two days later… I am still thinking.

Writing, just writing

The Snuggie Series: The Story of Us #44

sanpixee — Sun, 29 May 2011 15:40:46 +0000

Maya Angelou said that James Baldwin conned her into writing her Pulitzer prize winning book, I wonder if someone has to con me into birthing my best.

Writing, just writing.

The Snuggie Series: Story of Us #43

sanpixee — Sun, 29 May 2011 15:14:31 +0000

My therapist says I should try new things. So I went to a Yankees Game and genuinely cheered when Robinson Cano stole 3rd and stole home and Gradison ended the game and they won. They won and I felt it. I felt it! Makes me want to win again!

Writing, just writing

The Snuggie Series: Story of Us #42

sanpixee — Sun, 29 May 2011 15:06:27 +0000

Maybe I will leave the house today. But then there is a Lady Gaga Takeover on Fuse for the next 6 hours. Maybe I can do both. Ha!

Writing, just writing.

The Snuggie Series: The Story of Us #41

sanpixee — Sun, 29 May 2011 01:03:56 +0000

After surviving the Rapture I have a newfound appreciation for the sun, which is here bright and hot after a long harsh winter. I wonder if anyone I knew disappeared with the Rapture and I didn’t notice. Well I guess it frees up more room on the 1 Train.

Writing, Just writing.

The Snuggie Series:The Story of Us #40

sanpixee — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 19:39:08 +0000

On my first visit to Christian sleepaway camp, the counsellors gave us each a blank sheet of paper and a set of markers and told us to draw something that held great meaning to us. I drew a little girl from the neck up - and both she and her pigtails were being engulfed by fire. Result: Counsellors in an uproar. My picture was the only one not displayed on the bulletin board with the work of my other campmates and one counsellor, a student teacher requested of me to take the picture back to school with her to be studied in a psych class with her other schoolmates.

And me? I was unfazed by it all, not in a smug asshole way – but more in the “I really don’t see what the big deal is but respect that this has really upset you”. I was laughing on the inside from the beginning of the assignment and the absurdity of me being 16 and a counsellor being 18, 2 years age difference meant that her opinion of me would affect my opinion of my own self.

Maybe this was one of my life stories that later helped my therapist’s case that I had a serious problem with intimacy… taking people seriously enough to let them in…

And on deciding to let people in, such as you and have it be a mess… well this devastation is just incomprehensible… and will take alot of typing to get through…

The Snuggie Series:The Story of Us #39

sanpixee — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 17:49:33 +0000

What is like to be international? It means a life dictated by travel, shaped whether by your own travel or the people around you – your life is constantly shaped by movement. And from out of transience comes a paradoxical attitude, whereby while being acutely aware that change is the constant that governs your environment and the attitudes of the people around you. The only thing in your life that becomes fixed is the attitude toward change, and out of this is birthed a formidable self-sufficiency and resilience along with the development of a lightning quick brain sieve for extracting bullshit out of a situation.