Sanpixee The Alien: Oooo Jai Act II
Read Act I here:
http://sanpixee.wordpress.com/2009/02/25/sanpixee-the-alien-oooo-jai-act-1/
ACT II
So here came my god. He looked into my eyes and one corner of his mouth curved into a smile. In careful measured movements, he got rid of the tie, unbuttoned his shirt and disposed of his shoes and his socks. Then he leaned sideways against the wall keeping his body facing me. I could no longer see his eyes now as his face was not cast in shadow. He casually reached behind him and picked out a stick of gum from the stack of candy we had stored in the glass bowl on the narrow table by the entry way – a welcoming gesture for guests to our home.
Jai was such a joker. He stayed there chewing and smiling while I lay in my position refusing to relinquish my sexiness which was beginning to feel more and more ridiculous the longer the chair had my body quivering in such a provocative position.
Jai got rid of the gum and had now popped a pink Starburst square into his mouth. My breath was very hot and moist against my gag and I was anxious to end this. “Haaaaaappy Tuuuuuuueesday Baybeeeeeeeeee!” my vibrating alto voice sang out to him sounding like I was talking into a fan. “Mmmhmmm…” was all he said. He looked around, “Baby, looks like we’ve been robbed! Look at how they left you all tied up. I should call the police right now!” He faked a look of concern as he toolk his cell phone from out his pocket and begin to fake dial. I was tired of this game now and my hands were beginning to numb. I looked up at my hands and wiggled them. “Bayybeee…” I started to whine, ” Stooop …. could you at least come loosen these…”
To this day, only God could let me know what the rest of that sentence was.
I felt his breath in my pussy. Then came the tongue. Oh, that luxurious tongue now cool from the minty gum he had chewed and so moist from all the jaw work he had dedicated to enjoying his candy. My juices mingled with his to create for me an epicenter of pleasure, which was …
Read Act I here
http://sanpixee.wordpress.com/2009/02/25/sanpixee-the-alien-oooo-jai-act-1/
Read Act III here
http://sanpixee.wordpress.com/2009/04/26/sanpixee-the-alien-oooo-jai-act-iii/
Sanpixee the Alien: Oooo Jai Act. 1
I had tied myself to the chair. Actually it was not a chair according to Jai, he referred to it as the Recliner SKB1500- sleek to the touch, easy to operate, one button for up, one button for down, one for warm, one for cool, one button for vibbbrrrraaaaatttttteeeee.
So anyways, I had tied myself to the chair, inhaling, exhaling as I made the sailor knots as I did back in my Girl Scout Days – looping and tightening, over and under, tug, tug…ouch…too tight…a little looser… okay done.
And I tied myself to the chair.
So that when he came through the front door with today’s mail, loosened tie, took off his glasses and looked up, he would see me his wife in his favourite chair, his ESPN chair, His SportsCenter chair, His CNN chair, His Beer+Wings+Monday Night Football Chair.
I had moved it from its spot in front of the plasma and had dragged it across our plush living room carpet, making a light beige trail in the carpet which betrayed the chair’s maiden voyage across the floor. It was heavy but I was more focused than it was heavy. Mid tugging one of my breasts had escaped my garment. I glanced down at, debated for all of one second before deciding my tug mission took precedence. I had couple more inches to go to get the chair in place. Then it was done and I slipped out of my slip, tossed it under a cushion then stood upright to look at the chair. The chair’s black leather so beautifully enveloped by the sharp distinct lines of light coming through the blinds which covered the sliding glass door.
The chair, the Recliner SKB1500 would be my throne tonight.
So here I was in it and tied to it by sailor knots. I had pressed buttons to adjust the back until my butt sank lovingly into the milky smooth textured leather. I had pulled my blue satin scarf over my mouth, which made me have to reluctantly nix the red lipstick idea. I had on my strappy heels – not the black ones but the red Jimmy Choos. This was my attire for the evening and as the doorknob turned all I could see were my crested breasts, now pointy nipples and the tops of my knees. I squirmed and shifted, hitting the viiibrraaatteee button by accident and left the chair to do its jiggle work. I had zero time left. All I could see was the “Home Sweet Home” plaque above the door, as my view was obstructed by my position. Obviously I had to adjust and by the time the door was open my legs were open too and I was staring through my legs at my husband and he had me, all of me in full view.
Naked, vibrating, tied up, strappy heels, his favorite chair, silent and gagged, with afternoon sunshine dancing down my skin making my tummy ring glisten as well as giving all that was moist that cozy sparkle.
Click here for Act II:
http://sanpixee.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/sanpixee-the-alien-oooo-jai-pt-ii/
Sanpixee The Alien: Don’t Call After a Date
Scccccccccccrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm
IF I could scream
if I could scream
And the words that came from that scream would be daggers with burning bright orange tips
I would direct my scream, I would focus my scream, I would channel it
To the assholes who don’t call a woman after a great date
Who throw her into a paranoia where she steps out of her rightful mind, hears phantom phone rings, checks her inbox, her voicemal inbox, her facebook, her modem… call the internet company to ask if everything’s okay…
Y’know cause bad connections happen
One phone call, the dialing of 7 digits, the sitting through one ring, then two rings, then three….
Whats the worst that could happen? huh? voicemail? line disconnected? child #2 of a total of 6 answers with spongebob playing on the tv in the background
Fucking grow some balls and call the woman
The longer you wait the more she turns into a werewolf – hypersensitive to sight, smell and touch
Fading more and more from the world of the sane – wild eyes, sitting alert, erratic speech…
Questions herself, checks her poise, second guesses her beauty
Oh this man, you confused man – if you’re not gonna call..
Then don’t ask her out, keep it moving
Don’t ask her out
At all.
Sanpixee The Alien: How To Save a Wet Cell Phone
My friend Beth had dropped her cell phone in toilet water/puddle water at least 3 times – lucky for her she has always been a big beleiver in shelling out $ for insurance for these kind of disasters. So I have never tried the techniques below, but when your cell is wet and you have no insurance, this is a good “what if” article and video to have around.
This article and video is by Joshua Fruhlinger
http://www.switched.com/2007/08/15/how-to-save-a-wet-cell-phone/
Sanpixee The Alien: Poet?
I don’t feel like being a poet today
To write verses loaded with rhyme
Stanzas and smart meters, balanced, in time.
Kill the wordsmith inside me, please go wake the airhead
The poet needs to go away for while, in fact, the poet is dead.
The depth and this knowledge, this insight, great thought
Has been my comfort, my companion, much agony its brought
My pulsing brain keeps going, just banging against my skull
Clamouring for stimulation, I am just here waiting for the lull
The eye of the storm, the stream of consciousness on pause
Strap down my mind please unclench my mental jaws
Let loose my inside self, so trapped behind words and fiction
I want to love and breathe reality, just for a while fuck diction
So kill the poet please, lock her in a coffin
Not forever, no not forever, for this talent I am grateful
But I am so done with all of this analysis
Overthinking, overgasping, causing me social paralysis
So off I go to entomb the poet
Kicking and screaming she goes
Goodbye for now, adieu
See you not now but see you soon.
Sanpixee The Alien: Ugh and Argh
sanpixee.wordpress.com
Ugh and Argh were 2 young friends who lived inside the sewer
Ugh bitched and moaned, croaked and groaned
A more cultured Argh wanted to go by “Peter”
Argh would go to above ground by himself to drank chai at noon with lemon
He would cross his legs and spike his tea with scotch imported from Yemen
Ugh spat at Argh, thought him snooty
So he thought up a scheme to maim Argh’s booty
He crept into the garden when the sun was high
Birds had drunk their dew, done their morning fly
Ugh the wicked – his eyes grew pale with evil
His brain a-working took the sharpest needle
Planted it neatly in the garden seat
Tucked it from sight, so perfect so neat
Argh came on schedule chewing an apple
Spat out the core, hugged his Kiwi snapple
Took out his teabag and proceeded to sit
When a young hummingbird from the canopy did flit
“Beware” she said “And mind your bum..
A creature was here, he so dirty so glum
He had spat in the meadow and came over here
He looked around…ooooh he had a horrid glare
Hurry back inside and punch his snout
Search his pockets turn them out
Your eyes will widen, your teeth will gnash
When his clothes betray a hidden stash.”
She flew away and Argh did heed
Thinking the young bird a friend indeed
He did all he was told and caught such fury
He convened the forest animals to form a jury
As to what to do with his former friend
And now this ditty must come to an end
Any ideas? A reply do send.
sanpixee.wordpress.com
Sanpixee the Alien: Man-Pampering
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www.sanpixee.wordpress.com
Love and Respect
Has your man ever washed your hair, shaved your legs or rubbed your feet? Has he ever massaged you back, cooked for you or washed the dishes after you have cooked? Has he ever noticed how drained you are, directs you to the couch, shuts off the light and rubs your head until you fall asleep with your head in his lap. Has he ever carried your tired body to the bathtub, draws you a bath and washes your body as if it were a prized diamond, as if it were the mustang he had saved up for 5 summers to buy as a teenager?
Does your man ever wordlessly guide you to walk on the inside away from the traffic when you both walk on the street? Is he able to tell you that you look like crap or an outfit combo does not work without offending you? Can you both appreciate how other women look without you feeling jealous or threatened? Does he know not to speak to you for a while after you get home from work and to just let you be?
For the women who think that these men do not exist o ye of little faith. I have found these men, and been able to benefit from their fruits. They are in fact all around. Women have been brainwashed into seeking the prepackaged man, the fairy tale propagated by Disney movies and the robot-women manufactured in the 1950’s. But oh boy, when you find a man like this … it is impossible to go back to mediocrity, unless you are passing time of course.
It is beautiful to find the man who inspires you to cook when you don’t feel like cooking, to dress-up when you usually don’t… the man who treats you like treasure without being too clingy or idolizing you. The man who acknowledges your flaws and faults but accepts the whole you as a package bundle.
This is the man who will get mad at you, but come back – who will show his love in his language. This is the man you will catch watching you – not leering – but watching, studying… who makes you blush just by saying your name. The man where you can both be in a room together, silent but comfortable – intimate.
Man-pampering is one of life’s greatest joys, to have your beauty – inner and outer beauty acknowedged with touch, caresses, silence and conversation – when you are touched out of an intermingling of admiration and lust. When his eyes give you a full body massage before his hands touch your skin – When you can be at work and still smell him in your hair. Mmmmmmm…..
See more posts like this one at:
Try this one and see how you feel:
http://sanpixee.wordpress.com/2008/12/19/sanpixee-the-alien-the-fascinating-male-species/
Sanpixee The Alien: Top 10 Pet Peeves Pt.1.
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www.sanpixee.wordpress.com
10. People who still have their bluetooth in their ear when they haven’t used it for the past 4 hrs …and that use was for a 15 minute conversation.
- Bluetooth
9. The “Hey, are you sleeping?” question that makes you want to stab the person who interrupted your R.E.M. sleep foreplay session with Michael Ealy.
8. People who think that all liberals, and democrats do is raise taxes, hug trees and kill babies… damn those those gun-toting, Aryan-loving, confederate flag-flying non-liberals!
7. When someone thinks its okay to squeeze into a pin-width space of seat on a city train.
Crypt Keeper
6. When snaggle toothed, hairy chinned, over-warted crypt-keeper person looks at your wonderfulness and says “When I was young I looked JUST like you!” NO YOU DID NOT, TAKE IT BACK!!
5. When people get upset when someone tells their kid that Santa “Call-me-Klaus” Claus is fake, yet are visibly miffed when you like to open a meal with a prayer to God.
4. Why does no-one think “I forgot” is a genuine excuse? Damn you excuse-givers who have abused the sincerity out of this phrase.
3. When people who speak other languages get upset with you for not being able to understand their language, when you both reside in an English speaking country. (Note my grouse is with LANGUAGE; not ACCENT)
2. Stuff that has those tinkly, high-pitched, annoying, mouse-sounding jingles such as Christmas lights and several children’s toys I would personally like to take a hammer to.
1. Incessantly ringing + vibrating cell phones at left at top volume by their owner who is in a 3 hour meeting. And now you wonder why you have left your office singing Lionel Ritchie’s “Hello”
Lionel Richie - Hello
