Sanpixee’s Weblog

“I beleive in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth”…this line has been drilled to me since 5th Grade when we have to memorize and recite it for Ms. Nelson… we used to call her “Horseface Nellie” …children can be so mean.

“Create in me a clean heart O Lord, and renew thy spirit within me”…we sang this all the time in our youth, especially at school wide Mass.

I beleive in God, the Father Almighty and I beleive Him to be Creator of Heaaven and Earth. I beleive that God is Love and that Love is God. God is true giving not of material possessions but of energy and Time. God is Truth and Truth is God.

Then why is it so hard for me to talk to him.

I start off as we were taught as kids… “Dear God, you are the Almighty, Creator or Heaven and Earth…” then this opening line usually melds into a medley of childhood hymns. Follow up line being something like “Thank you for giving me this morning…”, “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord…”, “There is a flag flowing high..” And this generally ends up in self chastistement of  “You idiot, you have gotten so caaught up in remixing Christian hymns that you totally forgot the purpose of this requested appointment with God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and….THERE YOU gO AGAIN!”

I remember one Christian peer suggested I talk to God as I would my friend then I would totally get carried away in apologizing as I would end up cursing all the time to emphasize my main points. That approach was no good either. Then another approach was to start out blessing all my loves…but then I never knew where to stop …and I felt bad if I blessed a husband and not the wife, blessed a boyfriend, but not his parents, blessed an aount but not her dog…

My newest approach is God as a Power which use to unleash to take away or take care of burdens ot to bing spirits of evil and negativity. In all my life this is the only approach that has seemed to stick because in this way, rather than feeling like I would have to sit in aa quiet room for an allotted time everyday to try to force a connection with God, I find that I talk to him all time now. “God, I travel today, I loose you to bind any negative spirit of anxiety and if it so enters my mind and has my stomach knots I pray that you cart it away from me and my being so that I may focus on all that is necessary to make this journey as smooth as possible. I pray yu bind any spirit of evil trying to overtake my family and send your warrior angels to flank them as you always have. I pray you protect my friends and cocoon them from their worry. I thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me and in years past I have been grateful and have asked you for intangibles. This year  I ask you for a tangible, please show me  a light or sign as to where next to go with my life. Also, please have people give me giftwraapped presents, with or without cards. Thank youf ro listening God. Talk to you soon…….

I beleive in You, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and Earth…”